A Black transgender woman claims she was the object of discrimination on the early evening of Thursday, April 14 at a popular Detroit area gay bar, Detroit Metro Times reports.
The woman, who goes by Lauren on the video-sharing social network TikTok, posted to the site last week about her experience at the Soho gay bar in Ferndale, Michigan. She says a cold welcome from a “butch cis white lesbian” descended into outright hostility, and what she says could be Black and trans “discrimination.”
Related
‘You think that white people can’t be racist? You think that gay people can’t be transphobic?’” Lauren recounted telling the bartender. “Then she replied back and accused me of being ‘cisphobic.’”
@gmoprincess if you’re black and or trans, beware of this bar. part two will be posted right after this. there’s also multiple reviews on their google page of racial and trans discriminative behaviors. and i was told by other people this specific lady has a history with hassling trans women and the manager knows this. i also never received an apology from her either.
Never Miss a Beat
Subscribe to our newsletter to stay ahead of the latest LGBTQ+ political news and insights.
The ugly encounter started when Lauren presented her state ID to the bartender and was told it wasn’t valid.
Lauren said she knew her ID was good — she’d used it at other bars without a problem, including at Soho just three weeks earlier — and asked if she could get a second opinion from the manager.
“By this point, she had [an] attitude,” Lauren said of the barkeep. “I could hear it in her voice and also the way she was talking to me and her body language.”
The confrontation had the 20-something “literally shaking” and feeling “extremely anxious.”
“She kept pacing across the bar,” Lauren said of the barkeep. “Her eyes were literally — I could see the top of the whites of her eyes,” she said.
Lauren told the Detroit Metro Times that she received her REAL ID-compliant state ID last year, which includes her birth name and a female gender marker. She accused the bartender of continually changing the reason for rejecting her ID.
“There were inconsistencies in what they said,” she says. “Initially, it was a hologram issue. The bartender then said it was invalid, then she said my ID was fake. … She kept switching the reason. Then the manager said the issue was it was a state ID, and not a drivers license.”
Lauren then worked up the courage to call out the bartender’s behavior.
“I asked her very directly, ‘Are you being discriminatory? Because this feels like discrimination,’” she recalled.
The bartender became defensive, she said, and started yelling at her. She couldn’t be discriminatory, she said, because she’s a lesbian in a gay bar.
“I explained to her, ‘You think that white people can’t be racist? You think that gay people can’t be transphobic?’” Lauren asked her. “Then she replied back and accused me of being ‘cisphobic,’ unironically using that word. By that point, I was laughing.”
That’s when the bartender told her to leave. She threatened to call the police and complained loudly to the older white gay men sitting at the bar, whom Lauren described as drunk.
When she tried to defend herself, the other patrons started “dogpiling” on her, Lauren recounted, telling her to get out.
The bar’s manager finally showed up and apologized for the bartender’s actions and “unprofessional” behavior. Soho issued a public apology in the aftermath, saying “the way the interaction was handled did not meet our standards.”
According to Lauren, the bartender has not expressed the same remorse.
In multiple posts on TikTok, Lauren continues to defend herself and warn others to be prepared to encounter the same treatment if they visit the bar; she cited other instances of problematic encounters posted to socials.
“The way I see it, they don’t actually care about a safe space,” she said. “They do not actually care about the patrons who go in here who are trans or Black, because it seems like there is a pattern of mistreatment at this bar with specific demographics, specifically Black people and trans people.”
In a statement given to the Detroit Metro Times, the bar said the interaction “escalated in a way that should not have happened.”
“The interaction was handled did not meet our standards. Comments were made that were inappropriate, and the patron was not treated with the professionalism, respect, and care that every person deserves in our space,” the bar stated.
“We have apologized directly to the patron. We also addressed the matter immediately with our team and are reinforcing expectations around respectful communication, de-escalation, ID verification, and the responsibility every staff member has to help maintain a safe and welcoming environment,” the bar continued.
“For more than 20 years, as a small neighborhood bar, we have been part of the LGBTQ+ community. That history matters to us…. We do not tolerate discrimination, harassment, or disrespect toward any patron, including trans patrons, patrons of color, or anyone else who comes through our doors,” the bar added.
Lauren told Detroit Metro Times she’s considering filing a complaint with the Michigan Department of Civil Rights.
Subscribe to the LGBTQ Nation newsletter and be the first to know about the latest headlines shaping LGBTQ+ communities worldwide.