Text messaging for men can be a problem.
Why? Because while 95% of 18-35 year olds text on a regular basis, it seems that single men haven’t yet mastered this art.
Gentlemen, texting can either be your greatest ally with the ladies or your worst enemy – it all depends on how you use it.
Today, I’m going to show you how to improve your texting game by avoiding the messaging mistakes most men make.
Alright gents, let’s get into it…
Text Messaging Mistake 1 – Coming On Too Strong
This may seem like common sense to most men, but it happens all the same. Ladies can certainly appreciate a measure of vigor when you pursue them, but it’s essential to know where the line is.
Don’t text her if she doesn’t know you yet. Sometimes the nerves might overtake you, and the temptation to ask a friend for her number will be there – don’t do it. It’ll come off as creepy and destroy your chances. If you want her number, strike up a conversation and get it from her directly.
It’s especially important you get her number directly because you’ll have more of a guarantee against catfishing. This simply means that you’re being pranked by a fictional online persona.
Don’t over-text or ask too many questions. Wait for her reply. Few things come off as clingy as ten messages insisting she answer before she’s had a chance to.
Running on that theme, don’t go straight for the kill. What do I mean by this? Don’t insist on taking her to bed right away – it’s plain disrespectful. Likewise, don’t go about calling her pet names like “babe” unless you’re in a relationship.
Don’t even ask her out before you’ve both had a chance to get acquainted and establish a mutual connection.
In text messaging for men, it’s essential to keep things light-hearted. This means – believe it or not – easing off on the grammar. If your texting is too perfect, you’ll come across as uptight. Using emoji’s will go a long way to helping you here. On that same note, never bring up your ex.
Avoid periods at all costs. Think about it – how does “That’s fine” sound against “That’s fine.” ? The latter sounds more passive aggressive.
Oh, and drunk-texting? It’s a frequent texting mistake – one you should avoid at any cost.
Text Messaging Mistake 2 – Being Too Passive
Balance is key. Texting woman you like doesn’t benefit from over-eagerness, the opposite is also true.
No one-word replies – If you’re interested in her, offer her the courtesy of a real conversation. A single word is a strong indicator that you’re done talking.
Timing is also important. While you don’t want to smother her with texts, you also don’t want to take eons to reply. Answering after about a minute is a good rule of thumb as it conveys attentiveness while also telling her you’re not glued to your phone.
You don’t want to go “Straight for the kill” as I said, but you need to stay on the hunt. What does this mean? Flirting. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a playful flirt here and there – in fact, it’s encouraged. When done appropriately, it send the message that you’re interested in a more tasteful way.
Never start a question with “Can I ask you something?” It can a woman anxious because she doesn’t know what to expect from a man – anything from an inquiry of her favorite color, to whether or not she likes sex positions. If you’re smart enough to know what’s appropriate to ask, then just ask.
If you’re taking weeks and weeks to ask her out, she’ll assume you’ve lost interest. Can you blame her?
Also – for goodness’ sake, remember her name).
Text Messaging Mistake 3 – Making Everything About Sex
There may be some overlap between this and coming on too strong, but for the sake of saving text messaging for men it needs more attention.
If you value yourself as a gentleman – don’t send dick picks. If she wants personal photos, she’ll ask for them.
Take care not to shoe-horn sexual innuendo all over the conversation. Flirting is fun, but it should neither be excessive not overtly sexual in nature. The art of carrying on some harmless chit-chat is essential.
If things go well, then they will likely lead to the bedroom. If you’re anticipating this then you need to let your actions speak for you – don’t talk a big game unless you’re absolutely sure you can follow through. No one likes being disappointed.
In Summary – Everything In Moderation
Learning how to build attraction over text with a woman is all about judgment. It’s necessary to know when to be aggressive and when to be laid back.
It seems complicated at first, but a man can usually spot the signs that a woman wants, even via text if he pays attention. Watch to see if she’s answering you in a timely manner, how she reacts to flirts and jokes.
Adjust your approach as needed. Texting can be a powerful tool of seduction when used correctly.