The revival of Real Housewives of Miami is one of the best things to happen to the Bravo universe in a long time. The ladies bring the drama, the extravagance, and the fun in homage to the good old days of Real Housewives shows. Everyone on the cast is fun to watch in their own way, and the distinct culture of Miami makes it that much more fun.
Season 5 is no exception. The star of the show is undoubtedly Lisa Hochstein, who is going through a messy divorce with Lenny Hochstein. The first few episodes left breadcrumbs of what is to come, but Episode 5 titled “Destination Divorce” is when the drama boils over. We broke down 5 of the wildest moments from the December 15 episode of RHOM to prepare for even more tea that’s sure to come.
Lenny’s trail of deception
Lenny’s been leaving hints that he wants an out from his marriage with Lisa since the emotional affair of it all. Truthfully, any man who makes his wife get surgery to turn her into his ideal woman is a walking red flag. Even in the most recent episode before Lisa revealed the truth, Lenny’s behavior was totally giving off mid-life crisis vibes. He literally wouldn’t even take some time out of his busy schedule to help Lisa break the news to their son that his dog has died. How heartless are you?
Lisa shrugs it off at first, attributing it to what she signed up for as a wife of a surgeon. But we all know there’s more to it, and so do the ladies. The RHOM cast takes a day boat trip that Lisa is a no-show for. They bring up Lisa’s pool party and namely how the Hochsteins always have parties full of young, beautiful, and scantily-clad women. Adriana De Moura gives some insight into the “ridiculous” behavior of men in Miami. Basically, she says once they age, they try to make themselves younger by dumping their wives and picking up a younger girlfriend. Sounds about Lenny.
Julia’s classic case of good cop, bad cop
Lisa and Lenny were the focus of the episode, but far from the only couple with issues at home. Julia Lemigova is still dealing with being an empty nester but is happy in this episode when her daughter, Emma, comes home from Paris to visit. To call her an overbearing mom is an understatement. She’s trying to caress and love on her daughter every chance she gets. In hindsight, it actually seems to be pushing her away.
The tension reached an all-time high when Emma brought up that she plans on getting a license to drive a scooter in Paris. Julia is upset as she had a French driver’s license and doesn’t believe it’s safe. Meanwhile, her wife Martina Navratilova thinks it’s OK as long as Emma promises to wear a helmet. It leads to a verbal disagreement that Martina has to shut down before it escalates further.
Julia expresses her dislike of feeling like Martina gets to be the fun parent while she’s the bad guy. Truthfully, it all seems to come down to her lack of identity aside from being a mom. The farm seems to be helping her personal well-being, but it might widen this riff between Martina and Julia in the future. I hope not though — Julia is the Miami queen that I didn’t expect to love so much. I want her and Martina to raise goats and live happily ever after. The end.
The trio we didn’t know we needed
The ladies take a trip this episode to the Florida Keys to celebrate Alexia Echevarria’s birthday. Nicole Martin gets her husband to pilot the ladies in his private jet, but a few of the attendees opted to travel by car instead. One trio consisted of Larsa Pippen, Kiki Barth, and Marysol Patton, otherwise known as the trio we didn’t know we needed.
These three ladies are comedy gold. In true Real Housewives fashion, they pack way too much luggage for a short trip that they expect someone else to carry. Marysol didn’t leave home without plenty of cockies for the ladies to get wild on the ride down. They also decide to play a dirty card game that leads to the three Googling wild sex acts called a “Hot Carl” and a “Dirty Sanchez.” Kiki even admitted that she had masturbated on a plane before, but the cameras cut her off before she could go into any more detail. I don’t even want to ruin their priceless reactions for you because everyone should watch the scene themselves. It’s these moments that make me so excited to watch RHOM every week.
Lisa blurts out her truth
It was obvious that Lisa was going to boil over on the trip to the Keys before she even showed up to the trip. She was nearly two hours late to the 20-minute-long flight. But, she waited until the ladies were settled at the resort to divulge any further about what’s happening. There is also a scene where Lisa’s nanny calls and tells her she is too sick to watch her kids. Lisa tries to get Lenny to go handle it while she’s away, but he’d rather go play tennis instead. Lisa loses it on the phone with Lenny and ends up hanging up on him.
Lisa immediately heads to the pool with the group after the call and everyone knows something is wrong. She finally admits that she’s not well because her marriage is ending, and Lenny doesn’t want to change. Alexia asks if someone else is involved, and Lisa finally spilled. Lenny is dating a much younger girl that has actually been a guest at the Hochstein’s parties that the ladies were dissing earlier. Lisa even revealed that Lenny wants to kick her and their children out of his home, truly showing how deranged he is. Get a motorcycle or get a hairpiece like other men going through a mid-life crisis. Don’t break up your family and traumatize your kids because you can’t handle it, Lenny.
RHOM ladies always stick together
The episode was hard for Lisa, but her RHOM crew really banded together to support her. Alexia in particular was yelling, saying that Lisa needs to kick him out of the house. “There’s somebody else involve, I always knew,” Alexia shouted. Larsa, Marysol, Guerdy Abraira, Nicole, and Kiki were literally surrounding Lisa with hugs and support. Julia and Adriana happened to be at the bar munching on leftover sushi, but they could tell something was wrong from across the room. The episode ended on a to-be-expected “To Be Continued,” so we’ll have to wait for next week to see how Adriana and Julia react to the bomb.
TELL US: WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI EPISODE? WERE YOU SHOCKED TO WATCH LISA REVEAL THE DETAILS OF HER SPLIT FROM LENNY?
[Photo Credit: Ralph Bavaro/Bravo]