Rick’s definitely got the sharpest tongue in the Rick And Morty universe (although Morty has been known to dish out some pretty witty quips as well), and there is an infinite number of quotable lines of Rick’s.
With going on 5 seasons of material it can be hard to single out the best of the best of the infamous absent dad genius. But, there are some that have the gift of being especially snarky, funny, or in rare cases, even self-aware, and those make up the cream of the crop as far as Rick’s dialogue goes.
10 “Hey, muchacho, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or are you going to freak out and start worshipping us?”
“Hey, muchacho, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or are you going to freak out and start worshipping us?”
The fan-favorite episode “Look Who’s Purging Now,” opened with Rick and Morty out adventuring and Morty discovers there are, in fact, bugs in space when one hits the ship’s windshield. Rick says they need to stop somewhere to get fluid and when they land, Rick cracks this joke immediately before excitedly jumping into another gag about the Purge movie franchise.
9 “I don’t sequel. It’s called integrity.”
“Oh, man. You know, maybe we went too hardcore on these guys.”
“Why do you think we never go back to a place we’ve already been? Do you know how many adventures we could get out of Purge Planet? Gear World? I don’t sequel. It’s called integrity.”
Forever judgementally poking fun at other film and television, Rick makes this dig in a newer episode, “Promortyus,” after explaining to Morty why they never return to the planets that they have adventures on. Besides avoiding seeing all of the death and destruction they cause, Rick explains that doing sequel missions is low-hanging fruit, and Rick And Morty is above that.
8 “I wouldn’t lie to you. Well…that’s a lie. Huh.”
“So this is why we’re out of town?”
“You think I’d lie to you about why we’re on vacation, Morty? I wouldn’t lie to you. Well…that’s a lie. Huh.”
In the most recent episode, “Mortiplicity,” there’s an endless group of Smiths (plus Rick) that are all simultaneously trying to kill each other off and figure out whether or not they’re decoy families created by an original Rick.
One of the multiple families takes a vacation to distance themselves from the chaos, and when Rick finds out it won’t work he changes plans and Morty questions his motives. Rick tries to comfort Morty but then realizes that he’s also Rick Sanchez, and lying is something he does often and without discretion, and he catches himself in his own lie as he tells it. This is a glimpse that viewers sometimes get into how self-aware Rick really is.
7 “Yeah sure, I mean if you spend all day shuffling words around you can make anything sound bad, Morty.”
“You sold a gun to a murderer to play video games?”
“Yeah, sure, I mean if you spend all day shuffling words around you can make anything sound bad, Morty.”
In typical Rick fashion, arming assassin Krombopulos Michael in order to play games at the Blips and Chitz is no big deal. This “Mortynight Run” quote articulates Rick’s entertaining indifference to life and death pretty well. He even brings up a valid point: giving a gun to Krombopulos Michael is the same as not doing anything. He tells Morty that there’s not a whole lot someone can do to stop him if he wants to assassinate someone, so his actions don’t make much difference. Might as well go off the grid in a game of Roy.
6 “I’m not a beaver who believes in Jesus Christ, Morty…but yeah it’s pretty much a Narnia thing.”
“So time moves faster in there? It’s like a Narnia thing?”
“I’m not a beaver who believes in Jesus Christ, Morty…but yeah it’s pretty much a Narnia thing.”
Rick never turns down an opportunity to take a jab at organized religion; in “Mort Dinner Rick Andre,” his snarky reply is at the expense of the allegorical Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe novel. It’s a playful introduction to the wine portal, that ends up becoming a huge problem for Morty subsequently.
It’s also in line with a common Rick formula in which he insults Morty’s take on something, and then eventually agrees with him or acknowledges that he’s right – which viewers know is not high on the list of things that Rick does willingly.
5 “I don’t like being told where to go or what to do. I consider it a violation. Did you get all those seeds up your butt?”
“I don’t like being told where to go or what to do. I consider it a violation. Did you get all those seeds up your butt?”
The pilot episode of Rick and Morty started off at a sprint, with Morty being whisked away on an adventure and taken out of school by Rick. When they can’t portal home after obtaining the mega seeds, Rick begrudgingly takes them to a galactic public transit station. Rick’s relationship with the Galactic Federation (and government in general) is a strained one, and any beaurocrat has zero value as a living being. Rick has much too much self-importance to concern himself with laws from Earth or space, so naturally, Morty had to put the seeds up his butt.
4 “That’s right, b****, it’s the prestige! You prestiged yourself!”
“That’s right, b****, it’s the prestige! You prestiged yourself!”
“The Vat of Acid Episode” was definitely a standout of season 4, with Morty surprisingly having the upper hand of condescension over Rick and his acid vat idea. Morty immediately shames Rick for it, and so Rick devotes an entire episode to concocting petty revenge on Morty by insidiously agreeing to build one of Morty’s invention ideas. Everything blows up in Morty’s face and he’s forced to use the acid vat after all, allowing Rick to hilariously reveal his master plan.
3 “There’s a lesson here…and I’m not gonna be the one to figure it out.”
“There’s a lesson here…and I’m not gonna be the one to figure it out.”
In the season 4 premiere,”Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat,” Morty obsessively tries to see his future with a death crystal and Rick is forced to re-incarnate in several fascist dimensions before finally making it home to save the day.
In one of many meta comments made throughout the show, Rick pokes fun at the need to have a learning moment at the end of the episode, while also shirking the responsibility of sharing it, choosing to just make a cheeky one-liner instead. Sometimes, the lesson’s not as important as the joke.
2 “I don’t discuss problems, I incinerate them.”
Dr. Wong: “I’d like to discuss that.”
“I don’t discuss problems, I incinerate them.”
If there’s one thing that speaks to Rick’s emotionally distant mindset, it’s this “Star Mort: Rickturn of the Jerri” line and the fact that he rigged the family therapy office with voice-triggered defense mechanisms that shoot fire. In the heat of Space Beth’s return, Rick’s disinterest in fixing himself proved useful in getting rid of Tammy as she tried to murder Earth Beth. These words are true for every way that Rick deals with problems, using his genius and technological savvy to plow through problems head-on.
1 “But that’s just it: I’m not a man. I’m god. You’re just made in my image.”
“But that’s just it: I’m not a man. I’m god. You’re just made in my image.”
Viewers are no stranger to Rick’s god complex; his fascination with creating clones, creatures, and decoys is proof enough. Then, there’s also the superiority that Rick feels toward all other life in the universe. He constantly calls himself a genius and the smartest man in the galaxy. So, as he fights slaughters other versions of himself in season 5’s “Mortiplicity,” it’s no surprise that he makes a snide comment about being an all-knowing creator of life. It has just the right amount of condescension and smugness for a great Rick one-liner.
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