The pop queen and and husband Jay-Z share three rainbow babies: Daughter Blue Ivy Carter, born in 2012 and twins Rumi Carter and Sir Carter, born in 2017.
In her 2013 HBO documentary Life Is But a Dream, Beyonce recalled finding out she had a missed miscarriage, in which no symptoms are identified before an ultrasound or doppler reveals the heartbreaking discovery.
“Literally, the week before, I went to the doctor. Everything was fine,” she said. “But there was no heartbeat.”
Beyonce poured her heart and grief into her work, writing and recording the 2013 ballad “Heartbeat.”
“I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I’ve ever written in my life,” the singer said in the documentary. “It was the best form of therapy for me because it was a saddest thing I’ve ever been through.”
Beyonce later told Oprah Winfrey on Oprah’s Next Chapter, “I felt like there are so many couples that go through that and it was a big part of my story.”
Her experience also influenced her next pregnancy. She continued, “It’s one of the reasons I did not share I was pregnant the second time [with Blue Ivy], because you didn’t know what’s going to happen. That was hard because all of my family, my friends knew and we celebrated. It was hard. I’m not the only person who goes through this. So many people go through this and in the end, I have my daughter, and there is hope and I feel so fortunate.”
The singer said she lived in fear during her pregnancy with Blue Ivy. “But my doctor told me that I was completely healthy and don’t be crazy and paranoid and to live my life,” she said, “and that’s what I did.”
In 2019, Beyoncé said in a Q&A in ELLE magazine, “Having miscarriages taught me that I had to mother myself before I could be a mother to someone else. Then I had Blue, and the quest for my purpose became so much deeper. I died and was reborn in my relationship, and the quest for self became even stronger. It’s difficult for me to go backwards. Being ‘number one’ was no longer my priority. My true win is creating art and a legacy that will live far beyond me. That’s fulfilling.”