Billie Lee never thought appearing on “Vanderpump Rules” would leave her in a deep depression.
“I had some of the hardest times with that show and a lot of my mental health took its toll,” the transgender activist, 36, recently told Page Six. “I slipped into a really bad depression … and when the suicidal thoughts came in, that’s when I knew I had to really, like, check my mental health and get back into order and disconnect myself from the whole ‘Vanderpump’ stuff.”
Lee made her first appearance during Season 6 (2017-2018) of the show when she gave a powerful speech about being a transgender woman during SUR’s Pride celebrations. In the scene, Lisa Vanderpump and the cast appeared to support her, but Lee told us their actions off-camera were much different and she began to spiral when she was fired from the show at the end Season 7 (2018-2019).
While she says she does not regret going on the show, she continues to grapple with the aftermath of being on “Vanderpump Rules.”
“They have a system on how they pay their newcomers and it starts out at a low scale,” she explained while describing her financial difficulties. “But even during the show, behind the scenes, I was struggling to pay my bills, but I couldn’t tell anyone because here I am famous and on a show and as a trans activist I’m supposed to represent this certain thing.”
She then struggled emotionally when she saw how the footage was edited into episodes.
“It was all about being the token — villainizing me, and throwing me out. It was just horrible,” she said. “But I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t say anything at the time. I was very scared. I was silent. My team told me that I should just keep my cool. And so as an activist, it just really, really messed with my head.”
During her final meeting with Bravo before exiting the series, Lee explained suggested a more diverse cast to producers, even using a friend of the cast, Jesse Montana, as an example of who should join.
While there has not been another cast member of color or another LGBTQ+ SUR-ver added to the mix, Schroeder and Kristen Doute were fired from “Vanderpump Rules” earlier this month for their racist behavior towards former cast member Faith Stowers, who is black. Max Boyens and Brett Caprioni were also fired for their racist tweets from 2012.
But long before her exit, Lee says she experienced a number of uncomfortable encounters with her then-castmates. Her first involved Jax Taylor.
“Jax and a lot of people were very kind to me on Pride when I first met them and in front of the cameras,” she alleged, claiming that after they were introduced “he was almost coming on to [her].”
“When the cameras were off later that day, he told me a story about how he hung out with a girl and kissed her and found out she was a dude and it grossed him out and made it clear that he’s not into that,” she claimed. “And so for me, I was very like, ‘Oh, 360. Like, you’re coming on to me in front of the camera. But off-camera, you’re making it clear that being trans is gross and you are not down for that.’”
She claimed she continually “tried to correct him” about using proper terminology regarding the trans community, but Taylor, 40, “would be annoyed by it.”
“He just wasn’t having it,” she alleged. “He just was very much keeping his distance. He just did not want me around.”
Lee also claimed that Taylor spread a rumor among the cast that she was hooking up with Tom Sandoval behind his girlfriend Ariana Madix’s back because “Tom was sticking up for me as a trans woman and trying to put Jax in his place.”
Finally, she alleged that she was hurt when a producer told her that Taylor said that he did not want to film with her because he “didn’t want to risk his career” over accidentally offending her or any transgender viewers.
“He said, ‘Yeah, I didn’t want you around because I don’t want everything I worked hard for to be taken away. We shouldn’t have to tippy-toe around Billie because she’s trans,’” she told us, also claiming that Taylor admitting to saying this was cut from the Season 7 reunion.
Taylor has recently come under fire for insinuating that Madix is a lesbian (she has spoken openly about her bisexuality), hiring a pastor who made anti-LGBTQ+ remarks to officiate his June 2019 wedding before Lance Bass stepped in to do the honors (Bass has since said that it was wrong for him to participate in the wedding), and for accusing Stowers of committing crimes among other controversial remarks. Viewers are calling for his firing with a Change.org petition.
A rep for Taylor did not return our request for comment and Bravo declined to comment for this story.
In her first season, Lee also sat down with Stassi Schroeder to record an episode of her now-deleted “Straight Up with Stassi” podcast. She tried to confront Schroeder, 31, over her now-infamous “Oscars So White” episode during the meeting, in which she proclaimed, “Everyone giving their impassioned speeches about race and all of that stuff, I’m like, ‘Why is it always just about African Americans?’”
Lee said that Schroeder ended up having a “breakdown” during the discussion — which viewers saw — so there was no resolution.
“I told her that these people aren’t just trying to have a fuss about the awards and not having enough black people winners for the Academy Awards. It’s like the more we show people of color, the more accepting and loving people can be. The same goes with the trans experience. That’s the whole reason why I joined the show,” Lee said.
She noted that she and Madix suggested to Schroeder that she make “a whole list of black people” to interview on her show so that she could “listen and learn and [her] viewers [could] listen and learn.” But it never happened.
Then during her second season on the show, Lee got into a social media war and an in-person fight with Schroeder, Katie Maloney and Lala Kent over a “Girls’ Night In” event at SUR, where Lee worked as a hostess. At the time, Lee claimed that she was purposefully left out of the night’s celebrations. Schroeder was vocal about her dislike of Lee while the incident was airing, telling Jenny McCarthy in an interview that she wished that the new cast members would leave the show and that “the things [Lee] tries to fight about is ridiculous.”
“‘You don’t even go here’ — that’s what it feels like,” Schroeder added, referencing a line from “Mean Girls.” “If she was actually nice and kind and friendly to us, I think she would [fit in], but to just expect to be invited to every little thing we do, when we don’t know you, and pitch a fit when you’re not … acting like we’ve been friends for years? You just met us, so, no, you’re not coming to my little four-girl wine night.”
Lee shut her down at the time, telling us: “I have always been kind to Stassi and I don’t recall ever being upset about a wine night … I have stated over and over, if there’s a work event called ‘Girls Night In,’ I should be included. It was all about the work place and gender sensitivity. Also, Stassi doesn’t work at Sur, so I’m confused.”
Lee felt that the incident cemented her termination, saying: “Stassi went on the air and said she didn’t want me on the show and she wanted me to leave. And two weeks later, I had my meeting and found out that I was fired … they told me they were going in a different direction and that direction literally was more airtime for Stassi and the new cast members who had previous pasts with racist comments.”
When reached for comment, Schroeder’s rep Steve Honig told us, “Right now Stassi is focused on doing the work she needs to do to make this right.”
While Lee had negative experiences with some cast members, she has found friends in Sandoval, Madix, James Kennedy, Raquel Leviss and Scheana Shay. She recently attended a Black Lives Matter protest with Kennedy, while the others have provided support for her in other ways.
“Tom and Ariana have literally been like family to me,” she said. “Tom has helped me in ways. He buys me things. Even during the quarantine, he would be like, ‘I have toilet paper, I have this. Come over. I’ll get you whatever you need.’”
While it is uncertain what the future holds for “Vanderpump Rules,” Lee hopes that her friends will have a chance to show the world the work that they do for their community — aside from what’s featured on the show.
“It would be dope to have a spin-off of TomTom and focus on Tom and Ariana — people that actually care about other people,” she said. “I think that’s really important, and I hope through all of this, that they don’t lose their job because they have been nothing but amazing and supportive for me and every minority out there. And I really, really hope Bravo does the right thing by celebrating them.”
Lee is now focusing on activism, and recently teamed up with Greenpeace and Jane Fonda to raise awareness about climate change. Their next event is June 19 and she plans to continue to use her voice afterward.
“Honestly, I have nothing to lose,” she concluded. “With this network, with Lisa, after everything that I’ve gone through with them and if I could just shed light on minorities, LGBTQ+ people and Black Lives Matter through this awful experience, if I could just try to be a part of the change and making a shift and showing that we can do better then I’ll use my story and my personal experiences.”