I apologize for the delay in this recap, but I was suffused in a cookie-filled delirium that included nonstop holiday parties and preparations. With New Years Eve literally on the horizon, followed by our annual (MASSIVE) New Years Day brunch, I keep repeating to myself “Home Stretch!” Which is much like this season of Below Deck!
We are in the home stretch here and things are gonna get worse before they (hopefully) get better. In my case the thing that will get worse is my waistline! Please, please, please let some Good Samaritan break into my house and steal only the cookies, cakes, and other holiday treats before I turn into a marshmallow who roams around just absorbing other sweets until I am taking over the entirety of a grocery store in a mad quest for sugar.
Anyway, on with the show!
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Rhylee Gerber‘s knots are causing people to hyperventilate, and Kevin Dobson‘s cooking is causing people to asphyxiate. Good times aboard Yachtpocalypse! Yet the biggest problem is the guests were promised a beach picnic and Ashton Pienaar canceled it claiming the beach was too rocky. Ahhhh… rocky waters, rough times — if only Ashton knew he’d end up dealing with it no matter what.
Luckily lunch turns out to be delicious and Kate Chastain pulls out all the stops for the 1920’s themed party for their final dinner. Captain Lee Rosbach even shows up in a full tux. Also dinner was not ruined by the smell of burned food and carcinogenic cancer particles because the engineer was able to fix the exhaust fan! SUCCESS.
That is until Master Pearson, the primary’s son, loses dessert for throwing a tantrum at a 9:30 dinner, after a long day of swimming and playing in the sun. His mother takes him to bed for being a bad boy. How about bad parenting expecting your 5-year-old to act like an adult? I mean the kid ate “smooshed green bean” soup for a first course – give him a break! Also, most of the adults on this boat don’t act this mature.
Luckily this means a creme brûlée for Kate who calls dibs on it without even offering the rest of the crew so much as a bite. Bad chief stew, Kate! (Kidding)
And speaking of badly behaving adults, Ashton realizes that neither Rhylee nor Tanner Sterback can appropriately tie a bowline knot and asks them to come to the bridge for a quick lesson. Rhylee twists some rope together and then gets defensive about how she shouldn’t have to show Ashton her work. Or maybe Ashton gets defensive because she acts evasive? I honestly couldn’t tell who started it.
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Of course, they get in an argument about Rhylee’s attitude and Ashton yells at her for being disrespectful to her superior. Ashton is clearly more frayed than a rope end and Rhylee is twisting his fragile ego all in knots – and that’s about the only knots she’s tying well because for all her posturing and tantrum-throwing Rhylee later admits she can’t actually tie a bowline knot because she doesn’t use them on fishing boats. So, why not just ask Ashton for help instead of accusing him of making an example of her?
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Ashton gripes to Tanner that Rhylee’s attitude is ruining the deck crew, meanwhile Rhylee complains to Kate that Ashton is an asshole. I agree Ashton is a problem, but in trying to assess Rhylee’s skill – she was way out of line, and Kate agrees. Although Ashton complaining to the remainder of the deck crew about how annoying Rhylee is is completely unacceptable.
The next morning Tanner and Ashton tell Brian de Saint Pern all about Rhylee’s outburst. Brian suggests they finish the season with three deckhands, and just suck up the extra work. Plus that means more tips for everyone!
And regarding the matter of tips, the guests depart leaving only $16,500, despite all the wrangling the crew had to do. Kate is not surprised given the smoke and the missed beach picnic. Furthermore, Kate feels like she’s the only one going above and beyond to do her job and make guests happy.
In other on boat dilemmas, Tanner wants to tell Simone Mashille that it’s over because he feels suffocated because he can’t be his true, wild and crazy (re: disgusting) self when he’s tied down by even the most casual of romances. Simone, on the other hand, is annoyed that Tanner keeps making assumptions that she’s ready to haul him down the aisle and trap him in a marriage. Tanner’s constant mentions of ‘being casual’ is making her uncomfortable.
Before the crew night out Tanner pulls Simone aside to break up with her, but she almost laughs at him that he actually thought she was that into him. Predictably, since he’s an asshole, Tanner’s actually bummed that Simone isn’t more upset. Instead Simone smarty uses psychosocial warfare by dressing in her sexiest outfit and tearing it up on the dance floor at the club.
Also, of course, Tanner played lacrosse.
Brian tries to take Courtney Skippon on a date, but it goes all kinds a mess. First Courtney is annoyed that Brian asked her out the same night, without two business days notice so she can plan what to wear, and start skin, hair and body hair removal preparations. Courtney is anxious without the requisite pre-date emotional debriefing time, then they mess up her drink order and she’s just a grump. Brian wishes he had a puppy instead of his personality to appease her. Courtney is too much woman for him, but she’s also being rude. It doesn’t stop Brian from pining for her though, and he spends the entire night trying to woo her, before finally buying Courtney roadside flowers and kissing her in the van ride home. Maybe, like with his penis ravine, Brian is trying too hard?
Ashton calls his mom before they head to Patong to party and she warns him not to go overboard tonight and also just laugh off Kate’s nonsense. The club’s moniker might be “A little party never hurt anybody,” but what about a lot of party?
You would think after such a fun and wild night out in Patong, which is Vegas meets the island of misfit toys, everyone would be in high spirits. Even Courtney managed to rally – but only when she sighted the taxi taking them back to the boat! Kate is stuck riding in a van with Tanner, Ashton, and Kevin – which is her first punishment. Ashton has converted to full Smashton and tries to shove his tongue down Kate’s throat in the van. She is livid (rightfully so) and they start picking at each other.
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Everyone is mocking Tanner’s mom in a jovial way, and it seems like Kate either misinterpreted their joking and thought they were being mean, or she just wanted to anger Ashton because she asked “How’s your mom?” In response, Ashton literally FLIES off the handle – or flies out of his seat rather.
Kevin intervenes and stops Ashton, managing to avoid spilling so much as a drop of his beer, or losing his slouching position, but Ashton is so enraged he punches the van window. PSYCHO. Absolutely nuts. Kate doesn’t appear phased, but she lets Tanner peck her on the lips which is the surest sign that she is rattled and not herself.
Meanwhile, in the other van Simone and Rhylee form a girl crush, while Brian and Courtney cuddle and make-out. Yes, Brian just stay with the ladies where you are tightly tucked away.
Back on board, Kate confronts Ashton as he is making “toasties” with Kevin. She claims she thought they were making fun of Tanner’s mom and she was trying to defend him. Ashton rants that Kate is always meddling in everyone’s affairs and should leave the deck crew alone. Ashton is literally screaming at Kate and it escalates to him accusing her of thinking she’s better than everyone, then waking Tanner up to co-sign that everyone finds her annoying.
Under duress, or maybe because he’s a dick, Tanner agrees that the entire crew feels Kate gets away with everything. Kevin, standing nearby, holding a cheese sandwich, says nothing in her defense this time.
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Kate is shocked and hurt, and decides she’s had enough. She storms into her cabin, and begins packing her bags. Rhylee tries to stop her, but Kate announces to the producers that she’s quitting, before walking off the boat into the night.
Yikes!
TELL US – SHOULD KATE LEAVE THE BOAT? SHOULD ASHTON BE ASKED TO LEAVE FOR HIS OUTBURST?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]